Post Covid

Sabtu lepas aku start demam dan bila hari Isnin aku buat RTK, confirmed Covid-19.

Sebelum suami aku pun turut sakit petang itu, diikuti dengan dua anak perempuan.

Tapi Covid in kids, alhamdulillah sangat mild, walaupun belum divaksin.

Bila dah sihat, badan tetap rasa tidak sihat. Mood masih gloomy. Teringat waktu kena denggi 4-5 tahun yang lepas, walaupun dah ok, tapi mood rasa gloomy, badan rasa penat. Walaupun post Covid was not as bad as denggue, but still.

I was supposed to WIO yesterday and today but managed to get myself to WFH since I am still coughing. But I think it's the gloomy feeling overpowering everything.

Tetiba rasa I hate my job. Even though bosses and colleagues semua ok je. Ok sgt, cuma belum biasa dengan environment and culture.

Plus, ntah-ntah ni semua long Covid symptom.

Entahlah labu...

Update on life

 After the 8th job interview, I finally landed a new job.

At a bank.

Dari bank ia dtg, kepada bank ia kembali. LOL. It's a phrase that people use to describe their  monthly salary, that I can now use for my career.

When I was working with a development financial institution, I purposely change my portfolio, coz I don't want my career prospect be limited at only in financial institutions and industry. I have decided that I don't want to work in bank. 

But I guess God has something else in mind for me.

Trust Allah, always.

I have tendered my resignation with the current company. Will report duty at the bank after the new year.

KL (and the traffic jam), here I come!

Definition

Success.

How do you define success? 

It has been on my mind lately. Does success define by how well you do in your career? Or how big is your take home pay?

Or perhaps success is define when you managed to raise up your kids. Well mannered kids, well educated kids?

I remember a question asked by the interviewer during a job interview I had last year, with the Malaysian owned O&G company.

"What is the one thing that you want to achieve in life?"

And there I was, dumbfounded, not expecting a philosophical question like that. He didn't want to hear the job related answer. 

I, nervous as heck, it was my first job interviews after more than 5 years, for a company that I'd killed to join, couldn't give the answer he was looking for.

And obviously, yeah, I did not get the job.

2 interviews and 3 online interviews (due to MCO) later here I am, still working with the same company I have been with for the last (close to) 7 years!

And that is why the question of success has been on mind lately. Kinda take a pause in my job searching for now. 

I know Allah has a better plan for me. That I am exactly where I supposed to be now.

Bitter

I think years and years of life are making me a bitter person.

and social media, too.

I guess age doesn't make me wiser.

Silap

Today I purposely choose this one particular cafe coz I feel like having their superb teh tarik.

And guess what

I accidentally ordered milo tarik.

Slap forehead.

Broken thing

Sometimes after a ‘hard’ feeding I look down and see my tortured, broken and tattered nipple.

Poor little thing.

Ko sabar jap ya.. less than 7 months je lagi 😂😂

By the river Piedra i sat down and wept

As a first time mother to a standard 1 student, plus a pre-schooler and a baby, I realized mother's duty is never-ending. Forever and ever after. Inifinity times infinity. It's like when they got married we still gotta take care and hovering over their lives. 

I had lack of sleep since last Sunday because my baby is unwell. 

Every night I have to pack all kids' backpack, sort out Amna's school book according to timetable, sort their clothing, prepare Mateen's milk.

Last night I already broke down and wept. I honestly feel like taking a day off from mommy's duty.

Mateen and I

And I ended up asking my husband for help, and asked him to take over some part of the daily task. DELEGATE is the keyword.

Entertaining my 7 years old girl is also very tiring. I have a 7 years old teenager at home already! Not gonna look forward to the day she actually turns a teenager.

Plus the boyfriend problem. 

I am still feeling pretty much f*ed up from the lack of sleep. But yeah, life has to go on.